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These 25 needs are not “unreasonable” or “too much.”
If we’ve spent our lives surrounded by neglectful, distant, or emotionally unavailable people, we may believe that basic needs for affection, fairness, intimacy, and support are unreasonable because those close to us have historically been unable to meet them.
The Big List of Reasonable Needs is a non-exhaustive list of needs that people-pleasers tend to discount as “too much” that are, in fact, completely reasonable needs to have in our relationships with others.
9 powerful journal prompts to celebrate your growth in 2024—and envision a bold, values-aligned 2025.
Every December, I’m surprised by how many New Year’s reflections focus exclusively on the future: goals, resolutions, aspirations, intentions. Envisioning is important, but by only looking ahead, we miss the opportunity to slow down, reflect, celebrate, and integrate the year that’s passed.
These 9 end-of year journaling prompts include 3 questions for learning from 2024; 3 questions for celebrating 2024; and 3 questions for envisioning a bold 2025.
Outgrowing What’s No Longer For You: 3 Steps for Brave Transitions in Relationships, Work, and Life
If you’re going through a transition right now—outgrowing a relationship, career, friend group, or way of life—and you’re experiencing a lot of self-doubt, self-criticism, or shame—this article breaks down the process that has helped me make sense of, and proceed bravely through, some of the hardest transitions I’ve ever faced.
You’ll learn how to get clarity on where your transition is coming from; build courage to move forward in a way that aligns with your values; and find conviction to stay strong, even when your path is different from the path your family, community, or culture wants for you.
These three communication differences will totally change the way you see your conversations with friends and family.
The three communication differences—Volunteer vs. Invite-Only, Asker vs. Guesser, and Builder vs. Maintainer—have helped millions of people understand how they and their loved ones communicate—and have helped heal hidden assumptions that had been hurting their relationships for years.
This article gives a complete deep dive into the three communication differences. We’ll break them down, explain the pros and cons of each, and, most importantly, offer a clear guide for how to communicate about them with friends and family who don’t share your style.
Here’s why trying to “reason your way” out of boundary guilt isn’t working—and here’s what to do instead.
Telling yourself you “shouldn’t feel guilty” about setting a boundary is like telling yourself you “shouldn’t feel anxious” when you're anxious.
It doesn’t actually help.
We may intellectually know that it’s okay to put our needs first, but our emotions aren’t onboard. In this article, I’ll explain why it doesn’t work to “logic your way” out of guilt—and share what actually does help instead.
Get my book, STOP People Pleasing and Find Your Power
A step-by-step guide to speaking up, setting empowered boundaries, and becoming your own best advocate.