The three communication differences⁠—Volunteer vs. Invite-Only, Asker vs. Guesser, and Builder vs. Maintainer⁠—have helped millions of people understand how they and their loved ones communicate⁠⁠—and have helped heal hidden assumptions that had been hurting their relationships for years.

This article gives a complete deep dive into the three communication differences. We’ll break them down, explain the pros and cons of each, and, most importantly, offer a clear guide for how to communicate about them with friends and family who don’t share your style.